Albert Pujols will be a Dodger or a Met… and I predict a conspiracy theory

A bizarre and round about series of events and coincidences have made it clear to me that Albert Pujols will almost certainly not be a member of the St. Louis Cardinals next year.

Before Pujols files for free agency, two large market franchises will change ownership and be in position to bid for him, and I believe Bud Selig will be manipulating the whole thing to help preserve his legacy.

That’s right, I am predicting a conspiracy before there are any facts or events to back up my theory. I admit that is no easy trick. But I think I am on to something.

Follow me…

Bud Selig is retiring in 2012. With the steroid era evidently behind him and if baseball avoids a work stoppage (and the NFL and NBA have one) then he will be able to claim that he left the game clean and thriving with labor peace.

But there are four gigantic messes he needs to clean up before riding off into the sunset.

Two won’t be covered here, but I will mention them: The Rays and the A’s stadium disasters. Neither team can last in their current dumps and nor have a viable solution for survival, especially if the Giants can block the A’s move to San Jose. But that is another post.

The big BIG mess is the state of the Mets and Dodgers, two of the flagship franchises of the National League. According to USA Today, only the Yankees and Red Sox are worth more than the Dodgers and those teams plus the Cubs are the only ones worth more than the Mets.

I don’t think it is stretch to call New York and Los Angeles big markets. And guess what? They are both in financial chaos.

The Dodgers have been mismanaged to the point where MLB had to take the unprecedented steps of essentially removing the owner from power. (We’ll see if Frank McCourt surrenders the power of the team.)

And the Mets should be on notice. If the twisted finances of the McCourt divorce can make Selig and company take over the Dodgers, then being swindled by Bernie Madoff (and not being sure what they knew in advance) should be even a greater cause for MLB to step in and take the car keys away from the Wilpons.

In the very least, the Mets should be forced to sell.

So that would mean the Mets and Dodgers would have new ownership going into the 2012 season. And also have a disillusioned fan base, declining attendance and a natural division rival playing well (the Phillies for the Mets and the Giants for the Dodgers.)

Whomever is going to run the Mets and the Dodgers will need to assure their paying customers (and TV viewers and sponsors) that not only are the bad days behind them but glamorous superstar days are ahead.

The Giants were in a similar boat when Peter Magowan took over the team in the wake of the proposed move to Tampa Bay. He found the quickest way to get the fan base energized: He signed the best player in baseball, Barry Bonds.

Which brings us to Albert Pujols. He’s a free agent to be. He has nothing left to prove in St. Louis when he finishes this, his 11th season. He has given the Cardinals a championship, post season heroics, MVPs and done so with class and a flair for the dramatic. And, as I said in a previous video, Cardinal fans can NEVER boo him.

Pujols could need a new challenge in his life, the biggest contract in baseball history and a chance to be a hero in a brand new market.

(See Rose, Pete. See Jackson, Reggie. And Albert is better than both of them!)

And if just so happens that the Dodgers have an opening at first base. I may not be 100% sure how VORP works, but I can guess that Albert Pujols replacing James Loney is an improvement.

And the Mets have Ike Davis, who is a nice player. When you have the chance to get one of the great offensive players of all time, you might think about sacrificing a nice player or two!

Both the Dodgers and the Mets will have new owners, money to spend and a city to impress. And they will BOTH bid on Albert Pujols.

Why do I say that with such certainty? Because Selig will make sure of it. Captain Bud will not let an owner take over the Dodgers nor the Mets unless they were intending on trying to sign Pujols.

It makes sense for the Dodgers to win back their fans and show there is a new era in Chavez Ravine.

It makes sense for the Mets to turn the page on the Wilpon fiasco (and no doubt Sandy Alderson and Terry Collins would welcome Albert’s arrival.)

It makes sense for labor peace as players making big contracts is always looked on fondly by the Players Association.

And it makes sense for Selig as he leave the game with franchises other than the Yankees and Red Sox bidding over the biggest free agents.

And which ever team can’t land Pujols will have a nice consolation prize in Prince Fielder.

Think Selig is above this sort of backroom dealings? Or perhaps not clever enough?

PUH-lease. I am not going to even go into the whole “Used Car Salesman” past of Mr. Selig.

This was the guy who maneuvered the ownership of the Expos, Marlins and Red Sox around so his hand picked successor would take over in Boston instead of the McCourts.

This was the guy who claimed to have no clue about the steroid culture, even though allegations were made public as far back as 1988, when Peter Ueberroth was commissioner.

This was the guy who was part of the owners group that ousted Fay Vincent for not doing their bidding and installing himself as owner/commissioner. It was supposed to be temporary. That was 1992.

This was one of the many owners found guilty of collusion in the 1980s.

Shady wheeling and dealing are right in Bud Selig’s wheelhouse.

So a nudge here and there and making sure the new owners come with an aggressive eye on Albert is not as outlandish as colluding, kicking the commissioner out and not noticing that the players all were bigger than the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

You heard it here first on Sully Baseball.

I am declaring it a conspiracy before it actually happens.

Colluding is and always will be part of Bud Selig’s legacy.

The Mets are 10% of the way towards making me look right

I took a lot of heat from Mets fans when I predicted their team would lose 90 games.
I have nothing against the Mets, but they weren't good last year and they are older and have the financial stink of the Madoff scandal hanging over the team.

They might dismantle at any moment.

Well, I was called all sorts of names... my sexual preferences were questioned... my weight was pointed out... my IQ was mocked...

And as a Red Sox fan, I really shouldn't be throwing stones about bad starts. But STILL!
After the Mets dropped 4 games at home to the Rockies, the first 3 by one run, the Mets are at 9 losses.

8% of the way through the season and they are 10% of the way towards 90 losses.
That means they can improve their rate of play and still hit 90.

Yeah, I know the Red Sox have 9 losses as well. There's a difference between a bad start and a bad team.

90 losses.
They are 10% of the way there before our taxes are filed.

Sorry Met fans... I am writing another post about your team

I've not made many Met fan friends recently... partially based on the passing around of my "Better use of $18 million" post. But forgive me, I need to write something else.

I said the Mets are going to lose 90 games.
From the responses by Met fans, you would have thought I said "The Lakers are going to miss the playoffs."

After many comments about my weight, intelligence and sexual orientation, the consensus was that I am an idiot for thinking a team that lost 83 games last year will lose 90 in 2011.

Mainly because some of their players MIGHT come back and some others COULD have comeback years.

Now I have already covered the facts that the Mets improvements are cosmetic and that the Phillies, Braves and Marlins all have better starting staffs... but folks, I saw an article today that made me think "Oh boy... this is going to be a worse year than I thought for the Mets."

REPORT: METS LOST $50M IN 2010; 2011 MAY BE SAME

Yup. The Mets who play in New York and have a brand spanking new stadium and their own TV network could lose a combined $100 million bucks in two seasons.

Revenues are down and so is attendance.

And with the Madoff scandal hovering over the team (sorry folks, that elephant will be there until the team is sold) the Wilpons are almost certainly be forced to sell the team at one point.

So what do teams do that are on the verge of financial ruin, tangled in national scandal and will be forced to sell?

Do they make improvements to the team?
Do they acquire players to help them win the pennant?
Or do they start chucking bodies overboard?

Guess what?
If Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran, Johan Santana, Jason Bay, Francisco Rodriguez, Taylor Buchholz, Chris Capuano or D. J. Carrasco are healthy and productive in 2011, they will be shipped off for minor leaguers and smaller price tags.

Think David Wright won't be traded?

It's not probable, but we are currently treading in uncharted financial waters.

You can't look at this team like a typical rebuilding process. A New York team should never be in "Tampa Bay mode" and looking to shed its stars because of lack of revenue. But that is what we are looking at with this team.

Any player a Met fan is looking at as hope for improvement will probably be used to relieve debt.

It is not going to be a pretty year, Met fans.
Go to the games. Prove your loyalty.

And in 5 years when Donald Trump owns the team and they are contenders again, you can point to all the bandwagon Met fans and say "Hey! Were YOU at CitiField when they were crumbling under the Madoff scandal?"

Welcome to the Nationals Mr. Perez

He is a lock to win 15 games with the Nats!
And he will be a bargain at $414,000 for Washington (and just $12 million for the Mets.)

A tip for the Mets… 10 better ways to spend $18 million

The Mets will have the 5th highest payroll in baseball and will probably lose 90 games in 2011, ergo they aren’t spending their money wisely.

A case in point, the Mets are paying Oliver Perez and Luis Castillo a combined $18 million to NOT play for them this year. Good money in a recession.

The staff at Sully Baseball can’t claim to be an economic think tank, but here are some helpful suggestions to what could be a better use of $18 million than spending it on Castillo and Perez.

BUY ALL 8 MILLION PEOPLE IN NEW YORK 2 PACKS OF GUM

For a few days, everyone in New York will have no excuse for bad breath.

SPONSOR 36,000 LITTLE LEAGUE TEAMS

At least the Mets will be paying them to PLAY!

GO TO A ROULETTE TABLE AND SAY “$18 MILLION ON RED!”

The odds of that money going completely to waste went down by 50%!

ERASE THE DEFICIT FOR NEW YORK CITY SCHOOL LUNCHES

Right now the $8 million deficit in the school lunch program is threatening some schools for cutting lunch all together. Pick up the tab on that and maybe spend the extra $10 million on something more nutritious than tater tots.

BUY 1,285,714 COPIES OF I’LL BELIEVE YOU ON AMAZON

Seeing the Indie film I directed become profitable is a much better story than paying for two players to go away. At least it is a better story for me.

DONATE $50,750 TO EACH PBS STATION

Maybe they spin it into “Tote Bag Night” or “Prime Suspect DVD Night” at CitiField.

HELP THE BUNNY WORLD FOUNDATION
SPAY OR NEUTER 1,800,000 RABBITS

Or are YOU going to take care of all of those bunnies?

BUY 818,181 CHOCOLATE COOKIE GIFT BOXES FROM THE LEVAIN BAKERY

Seriously, have you had one of the cookies from the Levain Bakery? They are so much more satisfying than anything Oliver Perez has done in a Mets uniform.

TURN 125 NEW YORK TEENS INTO MBA GRADUATES

Let’s say the Mets found 125 smart teenagers in New York public schools who couldn’t afford college. They pay for four years of Brooklyn College for all 125 (including student housing.) Then after they all get their Bachelors degrees, they pay their way through the Zicklin School of Business at Baruch College. By 2018, they will have 125 young minds with MBAs and inevitably ONE of them would be able give the Mets some sound business advice. (How could they be worse than the financial wizards who put them into this mess!)

THROW 18 MILLION ONE DOLLAR BILLS INTO THE HUDSON RIVER

Who knows? Some might float back to them.