A lot of people have written to me wondering why I haven’t written more recently about the Red Sox. We are on the eve of what could be a great season. It seems like everyone and their moose are picking my boys to win the Division and many others see them winning the pennant and even the World Series.
I am super excited about the season, but I also know the danger of sky high expectations and I am guarded.
No this isn’t fatalistic Red Sox fan being pessimistic. Those days ended for me in 2004 and 2007. But this is a movie watcher with his guard up. I have been to too many films that I felt were going to be awesome to only to be let down.
I can’t help but think that this Red Sox season could be like one of those films. A film that I kept watching the trailer over and over and getting myself pumped up, only to have wildly varying end results.
So which movie that I was overly excited for will the 2011 Red Sox mirror?
Will they mirror
Superman Returns?
The Excitement… Bryan Singer had done a great job with the
X Men movies but I never cared about Marvel comics growing up. But I did love
Superman and
Superman II. He was going to put love and care into a new Superman movie, complete with the John Williams music, a Christopher Reeve dead ringer in the lead and Marlon Brando’s voice as Jor-El. The
trailer was awesome. Hellllllo Childhood!
Did it meet expectations? Nope. Right from the start I felt like something was wrong. Even the opening Whoooooshing credit sequence with the original score didn’t work. And the film was super dull, super lame and had so many plot holes I wish I could spin the Earth backwards and make it never happen.
The 2011 Red Sox equivalent –
If the Red Sox stumble out of the gate in the first game, never get back on track, be completely boring by June, crawl to the ending and find out they somehow had a 5 year old son, then it will be the
Superman Returns of baseball seasons.
Will they mirror
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace?
The Excitement…Are you kidding me?
Star Wars was coming back! Lightsabers! Obi Wan Kenobi! We were promised cool young Jedi in action for more than 20 years. Even if it sucked it would be awesome. My brother and I paid full admission to
Meet Joe Black just to see the
trailer.
Did it meet expectations?Man I wanted it to. Man I squinted my eyes, ignored the problems and kept thinking “Oh boy. This is going to get awesome ANY MINUTE NOW!” And every once in a while something cool would happen. But there was a lot of Jar Jar… and the little kid… and a story that made no sense… and after some serious denial there was no other conclusion. It sucked.
The 2011 Red Sox equivalent…The Red Sox play just above .500 but lose a lot of close games and all the fans think “Any minute now this team is going to take off.” And despite a no hitter that is undeniably cool, the team just stumbles towards a confusing and unsatisfying ending. And super prospect Anthony Ranaudo is brought up from the farm and says “Yousa think our pennant chance is gonna DIE!”
Will they mirror
The Royal Tennenbaums?
The Excitement…The makers of
Rushmore were making a great ensemble piece. Bill Murray was back but this looked like it was going to be Gene Hackman’s film to carry. The
trailer that mixed Simon and Garfunkel the Ramones was fabulous. No doubt a classic movie was about to be unveiled.
Did it meet expectations?Frustratingly no. Gene Hackman was terrific as was Anjelica Huston. In fact the film wasn’t bad, just agonizingly uneven. Plus the quirky style and attention to detail that made
Rushmore so great felt forced here.
The 2011 Red Sox equivalent…They get an MVP performance from Kevin Youkilis and a Cy Young performance from Jon Lester, but the season is filled with too many dull stretches and losing streaks. Plus they play too many songs by
Nico on the Fenway Park P.A. system.
Will they mirror
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring?
The Excitement…A major studio handed the reigns to an expensive franchise to a looney like Peter Jackson? I was never a Tolkien fan growing up, but the
clips of the film looked amazing and the pre release buzz was so great that I actually read the damn book before I saw it. After being burned on the
Star Wars Prequels, maybe Jackson would get it right.
Did it meet expectations?Well it was good. Parts of it damn good. And Ian McKellen was awesome and it is always nice to see Liv Tyler. But did it have to be that LONG? How many conferences did we have to have with elves, and hobbits and dwarves and Viggo Mortensen? Frodo has the Ring. They need to throw it into a volcano. Let’s get moving!
The 2011 Red Sox equivalent…The team wins the Division, but each games lasts 4 hours because of fouled off pitches, bullpen changes and arguing with the umps. The season has an unsatisfying ending but we are assured in two years it will all come to a conclusion. Sox fans wonder why they have to wait that long. Meanwhile Dustin Pedroia plays the season with no shoes and big furry feet.
Will they mirror
Batman?
The Excitement…All throughout the 1980s, my brother and I were dying to see a live action
Batman film that was dark and sinister like the comics. And while Michael Keaton seemed like an odd choice to play the role, the
preview made us both jump out of our skins. We dutifully bought the
Batman t-shirts like everyone else.
Did it meet expectations?The amazing
opening credit sequence with Danny Elfman’s hair raising score led to the “What are you?” “I’m Batman!” confrontation on the roof. How could it get better than that? It didn’t. There were individual moments that were terrific and Jack was on his game. But what was the plot? And why did they have to climb up the Cathedral? The look was cool then but didn’t hold up over time.
The 2011 Red Sox equivalent…They start off with a 15 game winning streak and look unbeatable. And the stars play amazingly well. Then the team cools off, plays without focus and Francona makes a series of bizarre choices at the end of the year that hamstring the team’s playoff chances but he keeps making them over and over. And Vicki Vale is brought into the Red Sox clubhouse for no reason.
Will they mirror
Inception?
The Excitement…In a summer filled with duds (
Jonah Hex? The A-Team? The Sorcerer’s Apprentice?) Christopher Nolan looked like he was coming to the rescue. The
previews were awesome. The cast top notch and the effects looked staggering. And early reviews said it was smart and thrilling. How could it go wrong?
Did it meet expectations?The film was so confusing that
this College Humor short easily pointed out the plot holes and jolts in logic. The film would have been better if it were a comedy where the confusing parts could be laughed away. But how boring were these people’s dreams? If Leo didn’t jump into them with his own anxieties, they’d be just dreaming of being in a hotel lobby!
The 2011 Red Sox equivalent…The Red Sox look good on the field and do lots of flashy highlights. But they make so many strange decisions throughout the season that you wonder if Terry Francona had lost his mind. Why is David Ortiz leading off? Why is Lester taken out after three innings? Why are they pinch running for Youkilis in the 4th? And why is Francona spinning that damn top before each pitching change?
Will they mirror
The Godfather Part III?
The Excitement…The Godfather! Part 3! I mean what more do you need? The first two films were two of the greatest movies of all time. There were rumors of a third one for a decade and a half. Now Coppola was going back to the Corleone family and he was going to
re establish himself as the maestro of American movies. We saw it on Christmas Day, ready to be wowed.
Did it meet expectations?Not even close. Andy Garcia is great. But it wasn’t The Godfather! Replacing Robert Duvall with George Hamilton? Was Richard Dawson not available? And yeah, Winona Ryder had a breakdown, but was there no other actress available other than Sofia? Plus Anthony Corleone’s character was being built up since the first movie as important. But in this movie he is reduced to singing an opera? Also Al Pacino was no longer silent Michael Corleone but doing a full screaming Tony Montana with his greatest role.
The 2011 Red Sox equivalent…The team goes on some nice winning streaks, but some key players go down to injury and are replaced with inferior talent. The end of the season drags out and Francona inexplicably brings his own daughter out of the bullpen. Tim Wakefield is talked out of retiring and grumbles “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!”
Will they mirror
No Country For Old Men?
The Excitement…After a few subpar efforts from the Coen Brothers (
Intolerable Cruelty? The Ladykillers?) they looked like they were back in form. The
trailer was nothing short of heart attack inducing and the reviews could be described as orgasmic.
Did it meet expectations?I think so. I mean 98% of the movie was one of the best movies I have ever seen in my life. It was lean, tense, dark, sickly humorous and yet terrifying. Josh Brolin was underrated in his emotionally muted performance. Javier Bardem was one of the scariest characters I ever saw. And of course Tommy Lee Jones as expected brought his A Game. But then the ending was oddly anti climactic. I didn’t mind that I never saw the final confrontation. The Coens are masters at off screen violence. But it just kept going… and going… and long after I stopped caring Tommy Lee Jones was having breakfast. And it ended and I thought “Um… that was great… but….”
The 2011 Red Sox equivalent…They come out of the gate strong and never look back. They take the Division and it isn’t even close. They get a Cy Young performance out of Jon Lester and the rest of the rotation is terrific. They get MVP caliber performances from Pedroia, Crawford, Youkilis and Gonzalez. In the playoffs they stampede past the A’s in the Division Series and Minnesota in the ALCS before facing the Phillies in a thrilling World Series. And in the bottom of the 9th of Game 7 of the World Series, the Red Sox win when Brad Lidge commits a balk. And replays show that it wasn’t a balk. So there is a celebration and the Red Sox are champs, but the ending just doesn’t feel right.
Will they mirror
The Dark Knight?
The Excitement…It sounded like the
Batman film my brother and I were waiting for our whole lives was finally coming out. After the inconsistent Tim Burton films and the vomit worthy Joel Schumacher movies and Christopher Nolan’s fine if flawed
Batman Begins, this one looked like it got it right. No more origin story. No more trips to Asia. Now it was Batman in Gotham City, working with Jim Gordon and fighting the Joker and Two Face. And if the rumors were true, Heath Ledger would make us all forget Jack Nicholson. The
trailers looked cool and I let my guard down and allowed myself to get excited.
Did it meet expectations?You bet. The story was intense. The acting solid. And the actions scenes were exciting and not all computer generated cartoon scenes. And every scene with The Joker was funny and terrifying with an edge that even Jack couldn’t match. And the ending confrontation with Two Face had me legitimately wondering how the whole movie would turn out. How many summer blockbusters can you say THAT about? OK the Cell Phone subplot was unnecessary, but who cares? It rocked.
The 2011 Red Sox equivalent…The Red Sox win a see saw battle with the Yankees for the Division and Carl Crawford is so great that you forget the crazy performance of Manny Ramirez. They get through the playoffs without playing any team that the Red Sox fans truly care about. No Yankees, no Rays, no Angels. Maybe they beat the White Sox and the Rangers. Then in the World Series against the Rockies it is tight and anyone’s series. But they pull it out and celebrate a World Championship. When Adrian Gonzalez looks muted in his celebration, he is corned by Jonathan Papelbon who asks him “Why so serious?”
Will they mirror
GoodFellas?
The Excitement…After sharing laughs with Jerry Lewis, getting lost in SoHo with Griffin Dunne, playing pool with Paul Newman, making short films with Woody Allen and Francis Coppola and tempting Jesus Christ, Martin Scorsese was going back to his violent roots. He was back working with DeNiro, reunited him with Joe Pesci and brought in Ray Liotta fresh off of
Something Wild and
Field of Dreams. The
preview looked terrific, shockingly even better than the trailer for
The Godfather Part III. My guard was down and I was ready to be blown away by the master.
Did it meet expectations?No. It shattered them. Of all the films listed here, it was the only one that I saw with sky high expectations and walked away thinking “Man, it was even better than I could have possibly imagined.” There isn’t a single character in that film that isn’t memorable and quotable. Tiny moments became pop culture signatures. The film was as funny as any comedy I ever saw, as powerful as any drama and as tense as any thriller. The Copa scene and the Layla montage would have been enough. But it just kept getting better right to the end where Ray Liotta breaks the fourth wall. It is such a great movie that I could watch it WHILE I am watching it.
The 2011 Red Sox equivalent…The Red Sox win 105 games and do so with style and substance. At one point the Yankees look they are ready to make a big run. But Jon Lester just looks at them,
takes a bad ass puff of his cigarette with Sunshine of Your Love blasting and takes care of them with a couple of devastating games. The final month and playoffs are frantic and jumping all over the place and not quite as fun as the first half but much more exciting. They make it all the way to the World Series. Despite some paranoia from everyone, they pull it out. Kevin Youkilis is told by Lester that he won the World Series MVP. Youk asks “Where is the trophy?” Lester points down an empty hallway. “Right there. On the corner… it’s over there.” Youk walks down the hall but senses something is wrong…
So the season begins tomorrow… and let’s hope there is a lot more Henry Hill than Superman.
As for the Yankees? Let’s hope they get their f*cking shinebox!
